Time and the lack of it!

Don't you just hate it when you always seem to find yourself running out of time?  Oh yes, I've tried the to-do list. I try to do this every night before I go to bed, although I must admit that there are days when I can't even do this. But yes, I do the list. Some days, if I'm not careful, I'd have a whole list ready to pop onto that page.  Sometimes, no matter I try to organise myself, I still find that at the end of the day, I can only can tick off 2 out of 10 or 3 out of the 12 things listed down and so I put the rest of today's list onto the next day, and so round and round I go.  What happened there - wasn't I organised?  Did I put too much on that list?  Not enough discipline?  But still I keep making the resolve to be more organised and even put a schedule and time limit  to when I'm going to do what. Then, I find myself doing more of one area of my life and neglect  others. 

In my desire to bring balance into my life, I section my list into different areas of concern.  I draw lines across my diary page, dividing it into 4 sections and label each section:  home / website / spiritual time/ training, as the case may be.  Then I would put in each section the one urgent thing I need to do that day for each area of my life, and then schedule each of that in the day. At the end of the day, I'd tick off what I've done.  I often find that there are certain sections that I tend to do more of. Hmmm.  Interesting.

I actually quite like this method, as this way I feel that I have looked after the different areas of my life, my different responsibilities. I can actually learn about myself - not only what areas in my life are taking more of my attention and energy and which are not. These favoured and neglected areas are in themselves very enlightening, if you are self-observing - they can tell a lot about your inner world and how you regard yourself.  Do I perhaps need to spend more personal and spiritual time?  Or even some entertainment time? 

Or I also find that I frittering my time on peripheral things, on related activities instead of  on the main things in my day, my week, my life.  Eg, too much time surfing the web and "researching" for an article I'm writing instead of actually getting on and writing that article.  Somehow, if I would just examine myself, I would see that I may have experienced some have blocks to doing precisely that, which I should deal with honestly.

There could be many reasons. And it usually isn't laziness because looking at my day, I hardly sit down and do nothing. (Which could be the problem!)  But more subtle reason, like the idea that I feel I need to have a whole stretch of time (there it is again!) of undisturbed hours, before I could find myself inspired to write.  And looking at my own life, I know that these can be few and far between.  

Or the idea of false perfectionism. That I should be absolutely perfect already before I should start to do anything. Or that brilliant ideas should already be composed in my mind, ready to burst forth effortlessly and perfectly. (There are days when they do, but again, few and far between). These are just a few subconscious inner talk that people engage in that stop them from living and acting now.

I'm actually finding that keeping some sort of written plan of activities as this to do list provide a very useful a graphic way of learning more about myself.  But in order to do that, I find that I have to allow myself, schedule myself, some TIME AND SPACE, to let it all sink in.  

Time - that all we have in this side of eternity. Time - such a precious commodity.  It's really a measured currency of one's life, how we live it second by second. Everything we do in this life is a testimony to how we're using time. If I don't look at it and treat it with great respect, I could actually just be squandering my life away in pursuits that do not truly matter to me, useless pursuits in fact that crowd out a truly authentic life. Am I using it to know myself, create my true self, my reality, my divine purpose, make a positive difference to my loved ones and the world?

To answer these questions, ironically, you have to actually "stop time" stand still and be peaceful in yourself and connect with the deepest part of you, where surprisingly, there is no time.  In that interval, one can listen to what you are saying to you.  Many people call this time meditation, prayer, tuning in.  Whatever you call it, it is most essential to creating and living meaningful and fulfilling life.  

Joy

Thought for the day:

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson